You just made me feel so damn special
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize