I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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