dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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