youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
