I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
