Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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