Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
