Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
