So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
