She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize