hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
