Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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