He asked me if I "almost moaned"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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