Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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