Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Are we still banned from the library?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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