Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
