the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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