the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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