if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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