i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
