Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
