Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
