Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
