Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
