Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wish you could order shots online.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
