I got her a Nickelback box set.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
