Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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