This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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