so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think people are normalizing furries
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
