Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
