I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
