my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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