Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
