he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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