when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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