Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Randomize
