Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
More tranny stories later!
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
