Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
