tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
