i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
