Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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