I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
its not stalking. its research.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Randomize
