hell yes lets make some ravioli
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
