i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
