Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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