You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
