you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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