I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
