i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
