I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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