Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize