Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
