More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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