That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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