Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
operation harelip BJ is a go
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize