I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
