Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
