Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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