lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
