I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
